If I Never Knew You
by lollypopgirl222
Summary: "If I never knew you, if I never felt this love, I would have no inkling of how precious life could be. And I'm so grateful to you. I'd have lived my whole life through, lost forever, if I never knew you." Jacob BlackxOC
1. Unforget You

Unforget You

_"Why you calling me again? Trying to act all innocent. I ripped your pictures all to shreds. You said that it was over."- Friday Night Boys_

I remembered everything she said to me, I remembered her lips against mine, and I remembered her in my arms. Everything I remembered about her wasn't all good, though. I remembered how she chose that bloodsucker over me, I remembered how she said that she couldn't love me like she loved the bloodsucker, and I remembered why she left in the first place.

There was too much for me to remember; I couldn't comprehend all of it. I had conflicting emotions. One part of me wanted to write her back, or call her back, but the other part wanted me to hate her, to never let her back in my life again. And, yet, I couldn't do either. I couldn't decide if I wanted to be happy for her or angry with her.

I guess that's the price for loving someone so much. I loved that girl like there was nothing I could let go of, and she still dumped me on my ass. She didn't care about me; she never loved me.

I didn't even want to get out of bed. There was a pain in me that I couldn't get rid of. Even when my friends came over, I couldn't do a thing about it.

The phone rang as I lay in my bed, and I waited for someone to get it. Eventually someone did, and there was a knock at my door. It was my dad holding the phone.

"Someone's on the phone for you," he whispered.

I took the phone from my dad. "Hello?"

"Hey, Jake," a female voice whispered.

"Bella?" I asked. "What the fuck do you want?"

"Jacob, I've been worried about you. My dad told me you ran away, and I just…"

"You just what? You felt bad that you were the reason I ran away? You always think about yourself.  
"Jacob, you know that's not what I meant."  
"Don't bullshit me, Bella, and leave me the fuck alone."

"Jacob, please talk to me. All I want to do is…"

"Bella, I'm done with you. Leave me alone."  
"Jake, I love you, and…"  
"Don't you ever say that again," I growled. "You never loved me."

"I do love you, Jacob, and you've got to believe me."  
"I don't give a shit what you think, Bella. I'm going to hang up now."  
"Jacob, please don't!"

"Good bye, Bella."

"But Jake, I…."  
I couldn't hear the rest of her sentence because I hung up. I threw the phone against the door and hid my face into my pillow. I absolutely despised her, and, yet, I was still in love with her, and nothing was going to change my life.

"Jacob!" I heard Rachel yell. "Someone's here!"  
Fuck, if that's Bella, I'm gonna shoot myself, I thought as I walked out of my room.

Thankfully, it wasn't Bella. It was Embry, leaning against our kitchen counter, looking for something to eat.

"Go get your own food, you fat ass."  
Embry gave me a cheeky smirk as he walked away from the counter.

"I've got some good news," he said.

I grabbed an apple and took a huge bite. "What is the good news?"

"We're having a bonfire Friday night," he explained.

"And that is good news how?"

"I invited some major hot chicks from Forks."  
"Oh, God, Embry. You know I don't want any other girl."

He sighed. "C'mon Jake. This'll be fun, and you know it will be. If it wasn't going to help you, I wouldn't force you to come."  
"You're forcing me to come?"  
"Yep, because it's gonna be an awesome night, and you have to be there."  
I sighed. "Fine, I'll go."

"Good." He hit my back. "Let's go to Emily's. She's making spaghetti and meatballs tonight."  
And I walked out of the door with Embry.

Emily's house was only a few minutes away from my house, so, of course, we walked. It was the end of August, so it wasn't too cold. Not that it even mattered. We were warm-blooded naturally. Still, it would be the perfect month to have a bonfire.

When we got to Emily's house, all the guys were there, and, surprisingly, Leah was there too. I went over to Emily, who was in the kitchen with Claire and hugged her from behind.

"Why hello, Jacob," she laughed and turned around to hug me. "How are you?"

"Fine." I looked down and smiled at Claire playing with pots and pans Emily had lain out. "Where's Sam?"

"Upstairs. He'll be down in a few minutes. He said he had something to do."  
"Oh."

I bent down and picked up Claire. If there was one thing in my life that made me happy, it was Claire. She was so precious and so sweet; she had the same personality as her mother. I knew, that when she got older, she would be so hard to handle, but I was going to enjoy her in this moment.

"Uncle Jake!" Claire attached herself to my leg.

I bent down slightly to pet her hair. "How are you, fidget?"  
She giggled. "Good."  
"Are you helping Auntie Emily cook?"  
She nodded. God, I couldn't believe she was actually three. It was like her life had just disappeared in two years. She was so much bigger, and so much stronger, that you wouldn't think she was still the same girl.

She giggled and nodded. "Yes."

"Well, where's Quil?"

"In the other room!" She grabbed my hand. "Let's go see them!"

She practically dragged me into the other room were the rest of the guys were sitting. Claire let go of my hand, ran, and jumped into Quil's arms. I wished someone loved me like that, or I loved someone like that.

"Aye, Jake!" Embry called. "Get out of the way of the TV!"

I shook my head and got out of the way. I sat down in the only free armchair and sat Claire in my lap. For one second, everything felt right.


	2. Keep Holding On

Keep Holding On

_"Keep holding on 'cause you know we'll make it through. Just stay strong 'cause you know I'm here for you. There's nothing you could say; nothing you could do. There's no other way when it comes to the truth. So keep holding on 'cause you know we'll make it through."- Avril Lavigne _

There were a lot of reasons I had to move, and none of them I was comfortable with sharing. I started packing three days before, and procrastinated so much, that by the day before I was leaving, I still was packing. I didn't want to leave my dad, because I had lived with him all my life.

My mother had some big problems. When I was twelve, my parents divorced. It was hard for me, and my parents got joint custody. Still, they let me pick who I wanted to live with. I remembered all the fights my parents had, and all the things that ruined my life, so I decided to live with my dad. My mom had to clean herself up before I could ever live with her again.

It was my senior year when I got a long letter from my mom. She basically invited me to move in with her in her new city of Forks. One could barely call it a city; it was more like nothing.  
But my dad was the only thing keeping me in L.A. I had just lost a boyfriend and had to go to court because he was hitting me. He went to my school, and, with the restraining order, either I had to leave or he did. Even though he hurt me worse than anyone had ever hurt me, I didn't want to make him loose everything. I had a mom to go to in a different state. I needed to get away.

Right as I was about to fall asleep, there was a knock at my door. I sat up to see my dad peak in.  
"Anna-Maria?" he whispered. "Are you awake?"

I sat up. "Yeah."  
He walked over to me and handed me the phone. "It's your mother."  
I took the phone from my dad and put it to my ear. "Hello?"

"Anna-Maria!" she squealed loudly in my ear: same old mother. "How are you, sweety?"

I smiled tiredly. "Good, Mom. How are you?"  
"Just fabulous! When's your flight leaving? I want to come pick you up as soon as you get here!"  
"I'll have Dad send you my flight number so you can keep track of it. Other than that, how are things?"  
"They're going really well! I've got everything ready for you! But we'll have to share a bathroom, but you'll be okay with that, right?"  
"Of course Mom. I'll be fine."

"Great! All the people are so lovely! You'll have a great time here! I promise! Well, get a good nights sleep. I love you, Anna."  
"I love you too, Mom."

"Good night."

"Night."  
I hung up the phone to see my dad still standing in the doorway. I looked up at him and gave him a weak smile.

"What did your mother want?" he asked, with a tone of jealously in his voice.

"To make sure I was ready, is all."  
"Are you sure you want to leave?" he whispered.

I nodded. "I can't stay here Dad, and you know that."

"I just wish you could."  
"I'll come visit you, I promise."

"You sure?"

"Yes Dad." I smiled. "I promise."  
"Good night, Annie."  
"Night, Dad. I love you."

"I love you too."

I closed my eyes and went to bed.

When I woke up the next morning, it was already ten o'clock. My flight didn't leave until one in the afternoon, but I told myself I would wake up early to spend a little more time with my dad. That plan failed.

I took a shower and pulled my strawberry blonde hair into a ponytail. I didn't do anything with my make-up except put a bit of concealer under my bright green eyes. I felt beautiful, even with no make-up on.

I was so excited to see my mom, even though we weren't that close. The last time I had seen her was in my freshman year, and, even though she called me everyday, I still didn't feel as close to her as I did with my dad. Still, I knew that I would love living with my mom.

I put the last things into my suitcase and brought it downstairs. My dad would be sending the rest of my things by mail, so I wouldn't have to worry about that. All I would have to worry about was getting my clothes there.

My dad had already made lunch. We ate in silence. I knew my dad was upset that I was leaving, but I couldn't stay in L.A. There wasn't any way that I could change what I had done, and, at least in Forks, I would get a second chance, and that was just what I needed.

By the time we were done with lunch, it was time to go to the airport. It was only a twenty-minute drive to the airport, so we left only an hour and half before my flight, just enough time for my to go through security.

When my dad dropped me off at the airport, he got out to help me with my bags. We checked them at the curb, and then we stood and looked at each other. I was the first to move, and I grabbed him around the torso.

"I love you, Dad," I whispered.

"I love you too, Annie." He hugged me back. "Be safe, okay?"

"Okay." I kissed him on the cheek. "I'll call you when I get there."

"Alright, love. I'll talk to you soon."

"Thanks, Dad."

And I walked away.

The flight was only two hours, so I didn't have to sit for too long, even though there was another hour flight to get to the Forks airport.

I switched planes as soon as I got off of my plane to Seattle. It left about thirty minutes after I landed in Seattle. I took my seat and fell asleep until landing.

When I got out, I saw my mom waiting for me. She looked exactly the same way she did when I left her. She still had the same blue eyes and long, blonde hair. Her body was still that of a super model, and she still dressed the same. I hadn't realized how much I missed her.

I ran down the stairs and into her arms. She laughed and held me tight. I missed her hugs, and I missed her laugh.

"Mom," I whispered. "It's so great to see you."

"You too, Anna." She pulled away and kissed my forehead. "I missed you so much!"  
"I missed you too, Mom."  
"Let's get those bags. It's only a twenty minute drive back to our house."  
We grabbed my bags and walked back to her car. It wasn't as extravagant as the last car she had, and I was proud. It was a sign that she changed, and that was exactly what I needed.

"So, Anna, what's going on?" she asked after starting the car.

"What do you mean?"  
"Well, your dad told me a couple things that have happened, and, well, we're both worried about you."

"It's nothing, Mom," I whispered. "I don't want to talk about it. That's why I left."

"Well, if you ever do, I'm always here for you."

I smiled softly. "Thanks Mom."

"No problem, darling." She took a deep breath. "You're going to love Forks. The people are so friendly!"  
I smiled. "Yeah, so I've heard."  
"A couple of the parents have asked about you, and their girls are excited as well."

Oh great, I thought, but I faked a smile. "Great."

"It's going to be so great!" she exclaimed.

We got to the house in no time, and it was nothing that I imagined. I never imagined a big house, seeing as Forks was a small town in the middle of scenic nowhere, but this house was tiny. I guess when she said we would have to share a bathroom, she wasn't kidding.

The house was two stories at least, but it was still small. It was a creamy brown with three windows on the front and a door. Everything about the house seemed cheap, and I wasn't used to that. My dad's apartment was bigger than that house.

"What do you think?" my mom asked hopefully.

"It's… great," I lied.

She smiled. "Good. Now, let's get these bags so I can show you the house."

I nodded and helped her get my bags. We took them inside and lugged them up the stairs. She opened a door on the left side of the stairs.

"Here's your room." She smiled. "You still like pink?"

Yeah, I liked pink when I was five.

"Yeah," I lied again. "I do."

The fact was, I couldn't handle that much pink. The entire room was pink except for the walls and the furniture. I tried to seem excited that my room was pink, but I really wasn't.

"Great!" She put her arm around me. "I'm so happy you're here, Anna."

I turned to hug her. "Me too, Mom."

"Good. So do you want something to eat?"

I looked around my room. "No thanks; I'm good."

"You sure?" she asked. "Because I know how to cook now."

I chuckled softly and turned to her. "I'm really good. If I get hungry, I'll make myself something. I probably won't be hungry until like midnight. Plus I want to take a shower."  
She looked really disappointed. "If you're sure."  
"I am. Thanks for everything, though, Mom. I couldn't ask for more."  
She smiled. "I'm glad to hear that, love. Get yourself settled. If you need anything, I'll be downstairs."

"Thanks Mom. I'll see you in the morning."

"Night, hun."  
"Night."

She closed my door and walked out.

I examined my room for a moment before falling down on my bed. It wasn't great, but I would make the best of it. I had to if I wanted my life to change.

I took a shower and staid up until about one in the morning. My mom was sleeping by then, so I went downstairs to raid the kitchen. I grabbed a package of strawberry Poptarts and went back up to my room. I started playing some of Taylor Swift's new album, Speak Now, as I lay down on my bed. It was so weird to be in Forks. It was cold and rainy and I wasn't used to the quietness of the town. But I would get used to it. It would only be a matter of time.

I woke up the next morning around seven A.M. to get myself ready for school. I could hear my mom downstairs, so I got dressed and did my make-up quickly. When I walked downstairs, there was a glass of milk, a package of Poptarts, and a backpack on the table.

"I hope this is everything you need." She came over and hugged me. "I tried my best to get everything together."  
"Thanks, Mom."

"Oh, and I have another surprise for you." She reached into her pocket and pulled out a pair of car keys. "Go outside."  
I smiled and hugged her again. "Mom, you didn't have to."

"I did. Now go see."  
We both walked outside, and there was my car. It was a Chevy truck that was repainted white. The inside was fine; it had a heater, which was all that I really cared about.

"Thanks, Mom." I hugged her once more before getting in. "This is awesome."  
"It's the least I could do." She opened the passenger door and placed my backpack on the seat. "Have a great day, Anna."  
And, for some reason, it felt like I was driving to my first day at preschool.

I got to school and parked at the first spot I could get. I threw my backpack over my shoulder and took a deep breath. I didn't want to be there.

I walked out to the main building, trying as hard as I could not to get noticed.

"Hey!" a girl's voice called from my right.

I took a deep breath and turned around as a perky girl walked towards me.

"You're Anna-Maria, right?"

I tried to be friendly. "You can call me Anna."  
"I'm Jamie. You're mom has told my mom so much about you. It's so good to have you here."  
"Thanks?"  
"No problem. Now come on; I want you to meet my friends."  
She grabbed my wrist and took me to a car where a bunch of teenagers were hanging out. There were four guys and three other girls.

"Hey guys!" Jamie exclaimed. "Look who I found!"  
"Anna?" one of the guys laughed. "Nice to finally have you here."  
"How do all of you guys know who I am?" I asked.

"Word gets around in a small town like this," the same guy chuckled. "If a new person comes, everyone knows about it."  
"Be nice, Kyle." Jamie hit him in the chest. "Are you guys gonna introduce yourselves to Anna?"

A small, brunette girl held out her hand. "I'm Meghan."

"I'm Ryan," the tallest guy said.

"Nathan at your service," the cutest boy laughed.

"Becca," a blonde girl whispered.

The other girl smiled. "And I'm Paulina."

I sighed as I looked at the entire group of kids.

"Are you all seniors?" I asked.

"Yeah," Nathan answered. "Finally."  
Jamie laughed. "Yeah. It seems like we've been in school forever."

I sighed again. "So what's school like here?"

"Boring." Meghan looked up at me. "What we really want to know is what life was like in L.A."  
"Not as glamorous as you would think," I chuckled.

Ryan ran a hand through his hair. "The only thing to do around here is go to the beach."

"Oh, that reminds me, there's a bonfire this weekend at the beach!" Paulina exclaimed. "Do you want to come?"

I smiled. "Sure, I'd love to."

"Plus the guys in La Push are so hot!" Becca laughed.

Kyle pretended to gag. "Gross!"  
"Oh, shut up," Becca sighed.

"We're never invited to these bonfires," Nathan mumbled.

"Do you want to be invited?" Meghan asked.

"Not really."  
"Then be quiet."

Before anything else could be said, the bell rang.


	3. Enchanted

Enchanted

_"There I was again tonight: forcing laughter, faking smiles, same old tired lonely place. Walls of insincerity, shifting eyes, and vacancy vanished when I saw your face. All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you."- Taylor Swift_

It was the night of the bonfire, and everyone was getting ready. Emily and the rest of the girls were getting food and blankets together, and Sam was getting all the firewood ready. The rest of us boys were getting ourselves ready. There were some of the boys who were excited for the hot girls. I wasn't so excited.

Before we knew it, it was time for the bonfire. The boys and I drove down in my rusty, old pick-up. People were already there when we got to the spot. Embry and I walked away from the rest of the guys when they saw their girls. We walked by the food and grabbed Cokes.

Truth be told, I didn't want to be there. I wanted to be home, in my room by myself, but I knew that would only bring me down further. But how was I supposed to feel? My heart had been torn to sheds over and over again. I was depressed, for lack of a better word. No other word could describe the pain in my heart.

"So, you excited?" Embry asked, sipping at his Coke.

"For what?" I asked.

"For the girls." Embry gave a smirk. "You can't tell me you're not excited for them."  
"Oh." I sighed and shrugged. "I guess."

"You guess? These girls have got to be the hottest girls in Forks. That's why I invited them. Plus, they're bringing their new friend."

"Who?" I mused, taking a gulp of my Coke.

"Some chick." He shrugged. "She's new or something; they just told me that she's just joined their group of friends."

"Oh."

Embry looked past me and smirked. "There they are."

I turned around and watched the girls walk towards us. There were four girls walking.

"Hey Embry!" the first girl squealed, giving him a massive hug.

"Hey Jamie," he chuckled. "You guys remember Jacob?"

"Of course!" Jamie hugged me as well. "How ya doing?"

"Good."

I looked past her and saw there was a fifth girl behind them. This must've been the new girl, because I had never seen her before. She had striking, deep green eyes and strawberry blonde hair. Her skin was a light tan and her body was just right. She hid her face, trying not to be noticed, but how could I not notice her? She was a sculpture, an indescribable piece of art. I wanted to stand forever in the sweet sunlight of her beauty. Any thoughts I could've possibly had were gone. She was my thoughts.

Jamie continued to talk, introducing the other girls. I didn't even listen until she pulled my beautiful angel forward.

"And this is Anna-Maria," Jamie announced.

Anna-Maria: the name of a goddess.

She smiled, and my heart was pounding against my chest. She was too much; this was too much, but I loved it.

"It's nice to meet you guys," she whispered shyly.

Her beautiful voice was the only music I ever wanted to hear. Her voice soothed any insecurity, any pain that I could ever possibly have.

"It's good to have you here," Embry spoke up, looking over at me. He knew what was going on. "Jacob, want to take the girls over to the food?"

Some unsuspected burst of self-confidence flowed into me.

"Sure." I nodded at the girls. "Follow me."  
Paul, Jared, and Seth were over there, shaking up sodas and spraying them at each other.

"For the love of God, guys," I growled. "Grow up. We have guests."  
Paul shook off the soda and smirked. "Sorry ladies. Can I get you something to drink?"

"Not after what I just saw you guys do," Anna laughed.

I turned around, surprised to hear her voice. She seemed so quiet.

"Yeah," Meghan agreed, giggling. "For all we know, you shook them all up."  
"Touche," Jared chuckled.

I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. All I wanted was to hold Anna, to keep her close. But I couldn't be awkward. I had to stay smooth.

I saw Anna grab some food and then walk away without the girls. I was a little surprised, so I followed her. No one noticed.

She sat down by the fire by herself. She picked at a bag of chips she had and stared into the flames. The beautiful red and orange light bounced of her sweet skin so amazingly.

I grabbed a blanket from a pile and began to lay it down on the floor. Anna looked at me, I smiled at her, and she giggled and looked away.

"Do you want to sit with me?" I asked her, patting the empty spot beside me as I sat down.

Her smile grew. "Sure."  
I leaned back as she sat criss-cross on the blanket.

"You're Jacob right?" she questioned.

I nodded. "Jacob Black at your service. And you're Anna?"  
"Yes," she giggled. "I'm so glad you called me Anna. Everyone has insisted on saying my full name."  
"Well, they're both beautiful names," I whispered.

I could see that she was getting nervous, but not a bad kind of nervous. I could tell that she was intrigued, interested in what I had to offer. And that made me very happy.

"Thanks," she whispered back.

"So, Anna, where ya from?" I mused, watching the light of the flames dance on her face.

"L.A.," she replied. "I'm guessing you live on the reservation."

"You guessed right," I chuckled. "Been here all my life."  
"Well, I bet it's nice knowing everyone."  
I shrugged. "It's a win-loose situation."  
She nodded. "I can see that."  
"So why'd you move to Forks?" I continued to question.

"My mom lives here." She sighed. "My dad lives in L.A.. Shit went down, and now I'm here."  
Of course I wanted to know everything about her, everything that happened in her life, but I had to wait. I knew I would hear it eventually. I knew that she would one day open up to me.

"Well, if you ever want to come down to the Reserve and, you know, go to the beach or chill, you can hit me up."  
She smiled softly and pulled out her iPhone. "Number?"  
Anna was asking for my number. This was perfect. I barely had to work for it, and yet I had already made it into her heart. It was easy for me to give it to her.

"So, Jacob, what do you do for fun around here?" she asked, nibbling on a chip.

I shrugged. "Usually bonfires like this, we go to the beach, and there's a port really close to here that has most of the cool stuff."

"Do you guys ever party?" she continued.

I chuckled. "Not really. Maybe you should teach us to party like they do in Cali."  
"Oh I definitely will," she teased.

"Are all girls from California as pretty as you?" I whispered, letting myself get closer to her.

She let out a nervous laugh. "I don't know. You would have to see for yourself."

I let my hand softly touch her leg. "I don't think they are."  
"Jacob, you flatter me," she whispered, putting her hand on top of mine.

I could feel it; I could feel her leaning into me.

"Anna!"

God damn that fucking girl.

She looked away from me. "Oh hey Jamie."  
"We've been looking everywhere for you!" she squealed. "Meghan found some alcohol. It's all bad; we need to head out."  
Anna turned to me. "Well it was nice meeting you Jacob. I'll text you."

I nodded, unable to say anything, as I watched her walk away. It was heartbreaking to see her go.

Someone plopped down next to me.

"So Anna, huh?"

It was Embry.

I nodded. "Yep, Anna."  
"I never thought it would happen to you, man," he whispered. "I mean, after everything that's happened…"  
"Well, it happened," I interrupted.

"How does it feel?" he asked.

I sighed. How could I explain the amazing feeling? It was so hard to even put in words for myself, so how could I put it into words for someone else?

"It's…" I paused, searching for any word. "Amazing."

Embry chuckled and shook his head. "Well, I'm rooting for you man."

"Thanks, bro," I whispered. "Thanks.


	4. Complicated

Complicated

_"It's so complicated. I'm so frustrated. I wanna hold you close. I wanna push you away. I wanna make you go. I wanna make you stay."- Carolyn Dawn Johnson_

Meghan was so drunk. She was throwing up in the back of Jamie's car, with Paulina holding her hair and Becca holding the paper bag. I had no clue where she got the alcohol, or how she got so drunk so quickly. She needed to go home; Paulina and Becca were both staying with her.

The whole ride home, though, I couldn't stop thinking about Jacob. He seemed like a great guy. But I also remembered what happened in L.A., and, after that, how could I ever trust another man again? Men had betrayed me in every single way.

Paulina and Becca finally got Meghan out of the car. She apologized to Jamie over and over again, but Jamie understood. Stuff like that happened all the time. She was there for her friends.

The first few minutes back to my house were quiet, but Jamie finally spoke up.

"So I saw you talking to Jacob," she teased. "You like him?"  
I shrugged, a little embarrassed. "I mean, he's cute and stuff, but I don't know him."  
"You get his number?"

I smiled at her and nodded.

"Ooooooo," she continued to tease. "Text him!"  
"Right now?" I asked.

"No, in a week." She rolled her eyes. "Yes right now!"

I pulled out my iPhone and unlocked it. Jacob's number was sitting right in front of me, but I couldn't bring myself to press the 'new message' button.

"What am I supposed to say?" I whispered.

She shrugged. "Just let him know that this is your number and that you had fun tonight. I mean, you had fun, right?"

I nodded.

"Then tell him that!"  
So I did what Jamie said. I sent him the text and then closed my phone immediately. I didn't want to regret it.

We pulled up to my house a couple minutes later. Luckily for me, there were no lights on in the house; my mom was asleep.

"Well, I'm glad you came with us." She reached over awkwardly to hug me. "Let me know if anything happens before school on Monday!"  
I smiled. "I will."

"Have a good night!"  
I waved at her as she drove away.

I turned back to the house and sighed. It wasn't realty my home, and I didn't know if it could ever be. My mom was never a part of my life; she was too busy with drugs to ever want me. She was trying to make it up to me, trying to do anything she could to make me forgive her, but nothing could replace the childhood years that she missed.

The house was dead when I walked in. I simply rushed up to my room, not wanting to even make a possible encounter with my mother. I plopped down on my bed and pulled out my phone. Jacob had text me back.

"I had fun too," it read, "text me if you wanna hang."

I smiled, but simply threw it to the side. I was too exhausted to reply. He seemed like a sweet guy, and I did want to get to know him, but I remembered everything that happened in L.A. I didn't want to get into anything, and it was obvious that Jacob was interested in me.

A big yawn escaped my lips, so I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

When I woke up in the morning I was surprised to see that I was still in the clothes I wore the night before. My head hurt a little bit, and the sun was seeping through my blinds. I grunted as I tried to get up. When I finally made it up, I went into the bathroom and took a shower. I needed one.

The hot shower did nothing but good. My head stopped hurting, and I was starting to feel more awake. I didn't know what I was going to do that day, but I was ready to do something.

I wrapped my purple fluffy towel around my petite body and walked into my room. I picked up my phone to check the time and saw I had a text message. It was from Jacob.

"Hey Anna," it read, "whatcha doin today?"

I thought about not replying, to just ignore him and try to hang out with one of the girls, but what did I have to loose?

"Nothing," I wrote, "wbu?"

"Same. Wanna go see a movie?"  
Did I want to go see a movie with him? Did I really want to put myself in that sort of vulnerable situation? But I had to make a decision.

"Sure. What time?"

"8. I'll come pick you up."  
"K. Ttyl."  
I looked at the clock; it was eleven am. That meant I had nine hours to cancel if I wanted to, but did I really want to? There was a big part of me that hated myself for letting myself be so vulnerable, but, at the same time, I knew I needed to move on. That was the whole reason I came to Forks: to finally move on.

"Anna!" my mom called from downstairs.

I sighed and started down. I didn't really want to see her. Of course I loved my mother, but most of the time I couldn't stand her. We were two different people, and we always would be.

"Yeah Mom?" I mused.

She picked up her jacket that was draped over the couch and put it on.

"I'm going out for the day," she explained. "Will you be okay by yourself?"  
I nodded. "Yeah, I'll be fine."  
"Okay." She picked up her purse and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Behave yourself please."

I forced a smile. "Mom, you know I always do."

She smiled back. "I know. Have a good day honey."

"You too, Mom."

She walked out the door. I plopped down on the couch and sighed. What was I going to do with myself? I grabbed the T.V. remote and turned the T.V. on. There wasn't more that I could do. Maybe some mindless television would help me relax.

And it did. I ended up falling asleep in front of the T.V. I woke up at about five thirty, and my mom still wasn't home. She didn't tell me what she was doing, but I didn't really care. As long as she wasn't doing drugs, I couldn't have given a second thought to what she wanted to do. But I knew that she needed me just like I needed her.

I walked back upstairs, groggy, and grabbed my phone. There was of course another text from Jacob.

"Wanna grab dinner before?"  
What else did I have to do? Getting out would do me some good.

"Yeah sure," I wrote back.

I waited for a couple minutes until my phone vibrated again.

"Okay, cool. Can I come in an hour?"

An hour would be more than enough time.

"Sure. See you then."

It was obvious that this was a date, and it was really something that I needed. What happened in L.A. messed me up so bad, but it was true. I needed to move on.

I picked out a simple outfit: a pair of dark jeans, a black, long-sleeved top, a white sweater, and a pair of black boots. I wanted to get dressed up at least a little bit if Jacob was going to take the time to take me out.

My make-up was simple too. I put on a little bit of foundation, swiped black eye-liner under my green eyes, curled my eye lashes, and put on some tinted lip balm. I thought I looked pretty good, and hopefully Jacob would think so too.

An hour passed quickly until I heard Jacob's old Ford truck pull into the driveway. I grabbed my purse and was about to head outside when the doorbell rang. I opened the door, and, when I saw Jacob, I smiled. He cleaned up nicely, and he was holding a dozen red roses.

"You look good," he mused. "I got these for you."  
I smiled as he handed me the roses.

"Let me put these in some water," I said. "Come on in and sit down."  
I went into the kitchen and got out the closest thing to a vase that I could find. It was so sweet that Jacob got me flowers. No guy had ever done that for me, and, honestly, it felt good. It made me think that I was actually worth love.

I walked back into the living room; Jacob was sitting there, doing something on his phone.

"You ready?" I asked.

He looked up at me and smiled. "Yeah, let's go."  
We walked out the door. I locked it and then walked to Jacob's truck. He held the door open for me.

"It's a little hard to get in," he explained with a chuckle. "Especially because you're so short."  
I smiled and rolled my eyes. "Oh, what a gentleman you are."

He chuckled as he helped me in. "I try."

He shut the door and then walked over to the driver's side. He got in and started the car.

"Sorry," he said. "It's a little old."

"Hey, it's a car," I laughed. "I understand."  
He turned on the heater and smiled at me.

"So what do you feel like?" he asked as he pulled out of the driveway.

"I'm not sure," I replied. "What about you?"

"Mexican sounds pretty good," he answered. "That okay with you?"

I smiled. "Yeah that sounds really good."  
We drove in about five minutes of silence until Jacob spoke again.

"You look really good," he spoke up.

"Thanks," I chuckled. "You told me that already."  
"Well, beautiful girls deserve to be told they're beautiful."  
He made me feel so weird, so different than what other guys made me feel. For the longest time, I didn't think I was worthy of such kindness, but Jacob made me feel like I deserved it.

"Thanks," I was able to reply. "You look pretty good yourself."

He snorted. "Thanks. I tried."  
"I did too."  
"Yeah, but the difference between you and I is that you don't need to try to look beautiful," he explained.

"You flatter me," I responded.

His smiles made my heart jump. "You deserve it."

We ended up getting to the restaurant pretty quickly. It was a small restaurant, but it looked nice, and it smelled great. California had really good Mexican food, and hopefully so did Washington.

We got a table fairly quickly too. Jacob pulled out my chair before I sat down.

The host gave us menus. I opened mine and started looking over it.

"So how's Meghan?" he mused, also looking over the menu.

I shrugged. "Haven't talked to her since last night. She was pretty drunk though."  
"Yeah, you need to watch out for Paul," he chuckled. "He always has the alcohol."  
"Thanks for letting me know," I laughed.

"You don't drink?" he asked.

"No, I do," I replied. "Just haven't in a while."

"Well, next time we drink I'll invite you." He smiled. "You still need to show us how to party like you did in Cali."  
"Do you guys smoke too?" I asked.

"Cigarettes?"  
I chuckled. "No, weed."

"I can't say we do." He paused. "Do you?"

"I used to," I replied. "Haven't in a while though. I usually don't smoke unless I'm at a party."

"Well, it's legal here," he chuckled. "There's a store here in Port Angeles where you can buy it."  
I smirked. "You feelin' a little adventurous?"

"Maybe." He smirked back. "But after the movie."

"Sounds good to me."  
We ordered drinks and food before we started talking again.

"So, Anna, why'd you move to Forks?" Jacob asked.

"Well, my mom lives here and I was just tired of L.A.," I replied, even though I knew I was lying. Maybe once I started to know him better, I would tell him what actually happened.

"That's cool," he mused. "You lived with your dad?"

I nodded. "Yeah. He's a director for those independent type movies."

He chuckled. "So the ones that never make it to movie theaters?"

"Yeah," I laughed. "He makes pretty good money though. It's amazing what people will pay to see their crappy script made into a movie."  
"I bet. What does your mom do?"

"I'm not sure," I stated. "She does something small here, but when I last saw her she was living off welfare."

"Yeah, my dad is too," he sighed. "He's been in a wheel chair for ten years, and, since my mom passed away, we had no other form of income."  
"Oh," I whispered. "I'm sorry."

He smiled and put his hand on top of mine. "It's okay, Anna. I moved on."  
If Jacob could move on from a death then I could move on from what happened to me in L.A.

Not to mention that his hand felt completely amazing on top of mine. I flipped my hand so I was able to hold his. His skin was warm and soft. I loved the feeling of his touch.

"You're beautiful," he whispered.

I could feel myself blushing. "That has to be the tenth time you told me."  
"Like I said before, beautiful girls deserve to be called beautiful."  
Our food came, and our talk wasn't as deep. We talked about what movie we wanted to see and all the small details. Jacob put down forty dollars, and then got up to leave.  
"Are you sure you don't want me to pay?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Don't be silly. You don't need to pay for a thing."

I smiled as he took my hand and helped me up. We went back to his truck; it was only a five minute drive to the movie theater. We were going to see the newest comedy, because we both loved funny movies. At first, Jacob wanted to see some new paranormal movie, but I couldn't handle scary movies. He dropped it then.

By the time we got into the theater, the previews were already starting. We found seats and sat down. Jacob slowly wrapped his arm around my shoulders, and I let him. It felt right to cuddle up to his chest with his arm around me. I didn't know how or why Jacob had such control over me, but I loved it. I loved the attention and the affection; I craved it.

The movie was funny, but it seemed like it ended too quickly. I wanted it to keep going just so I could keep Jacob's arm around me.

It was about ten thirty when the movie got out. It was freezing outside, so Jacob continued to hold me so I could keep warm. We got to his car as fast as we could and jumped in. He turned on the heater immediately.

"So do you still want to smoke?" he asked.

I was a little surprised, but I remembered that we were talking about it at dinner.

"Sure," I replied. "But don't you have to be twenty-one?"

He smirked, took out his wallet, and pulled out a fake I.D. I laughed out loud.

"Good job Jacob," I laughed. "You wanna buy me a beer too?"

"Of course." He put the car into drive. "Anything you want, baby."  
We stopped at a gas station first, and Jacob bought two fortys. Then we went to, for lack of a better word, the weed store. He bought a pre-rolled joint and came back out.

"Do you mind if we go to the reservation?" he asked. "There's this really pretty spot on the mountain where no one goes around."  
I smiled. "Sure. That sounds good."  
I opened my bottle as we drove back to the reservation. It didn't take that much time, though.

As we pulled up, I realized how right Jacob was; the spot was gorgeous. It was just a little off one of the cliffs, and, just looking straight forward, you could see everything, from the ocean to the forest to the hundreds of twinkling stars in the night sky. It was breath taking. We didn't have many places like that in L.A.

Jacob unwrapped the joint and handed it to me.

"You light it," he told me. "I've never smoked before."

"You haven't?" I asked with a giggle.

"Don't make fun of me," he chuckled.

"I'm not." I put the joint between my lips and lit it. "It might burn a little bit, but the effects are worth it."  
I took in a long inhale, keeping the smoke trapped in my lungs. It felt good to smoke again. I missed the stress relief it gave me. After all that had been going on, it felt good to relax. I let all the problems rush out of my body with the smoke.

I handed the joint to Jacob and took a long sip of my beer. I was glad I had it.

"Just smoke it like a cigarette," I explained.

He did exactly that. I was expecting him to start coughing terribly, like me and most of my friends our first time, but he handled it without a problem. He let the smoke slowly escape his lips as he passed the joint back to me.

"You like it?" I asked.

He nodded and took a drink of his beer.

I chuckled to myself as I took another hit.

"So, Anna," he mused as I let the smoke fill my lungs.

"Yeah?" I replied as I exhaled.

He sighed as he took the joint. "I really like you."  
I thought for a second. Did I really want to get involved romantically with someone? With any other guy the answer would've probably been no, but Jacob did nothing but make me want to say yes.

"I like you too," I whispered back.

Without warning, he placed his hand gently on my cheek and kissed me. I let myself go, enjoying every second of the kiss. It felt so right.

Jacob made everything feel right.


End file.
